Epic Rap Battles of Cybertron
by inkdragon13
Summary: Miko discovers something to do on Youtube and somehow manages to drag Optimus and Ratchet into it. The Autobots have now discovered a new way to fight- Who will win in this Epic Rap Battle of History? Chapter Three: The Prime vs. The Warlord
1. The Prime vs The Medic

**Hello, my readers! The plot bunny has been chewing my leg off, so I had to do it!  
**

**Due to the nature of the lyrics in the Epic Rap Battles of History this story is rated T for a reason. It's nothing too bad, though. I don't own jack. This starts off in Jack's POV and goes from there. **

**Enjoy!  
**

"You know what'll be really cool?" Miko asked me while we sat at the couch working on homework. Bumblebee, Arcee, Smokescreen and Bulkhead were all out on patrol, leaving us here at the base. Raf looked up from his laptop and looked at Miko. She seemed really excited about something, but I couldn't tell what and neither could Raf. She's been exited all day, really.

"What?" I responded.

"If the Bots had an Epic Rap Battle of History."

D-did I hear her right? "A what?"

"You heard me."

I looked at her like she had just lost her mind. "Why would the bots want to do that?"

"Because it's really cool!"

I raised an eyebrow at her. "Where did you even get this idea?" Her jaw dropped. What did I say?

"You've never heard of Epic Rap Battles of History?!" She looked absolutely horrified at the thought of me not knowing about whatever the heck she was talking about.

"No, I haven't."

She jumped up from the couch, gesturing dramatically. "DUDE! What rock have you been living under?! Everybody at school is talking about it! Even Raf knows about them!"

"She's right. I-I'm surprised you haven't heard of them." Raf adjusted his glasses and smiled innocently at me.

"What, is it on Youtube?" I asked.

"Yeah. Here I'll show you a few." I shrugged and walked over to Raf to look at a few of the videos he was talking about. Hopefully it's something worth looking at.

…

"I don't care what anyone says, Abraham Lincoln won that." I said, crossing my arms over my chest. I have to admit, those videos are awesome! Miko's right, it would be pretty cool to see the bots in an Epic Rap Battle.

"See? It would be so cool with there was a rap battle between Ratchet and Optimus" Miko said. Raf nodded, agreeing with her.

I raised an eyebrow. "Would Optimus even participate in something like that?" Miko stopped for a minute.

"Who knows? No harm in asking. Is he even here?"

I furrowed my eyebrows in thought. "I think he is."

"What about Ratchet?" Raf asked from in front of his laptop. Miko gave him an incredulous look.

"Ratchet's always here, but he's not in this room. I'm gonna go find him." My eyes widened. Was she seriously thinking about having Optimus and Ratchet do a rap battle?! Before I could stop her, she ran off down the hall to go find Ratchet. I stared after, not even bothering to go after her. When Miko puts her mind to something, nothing could really stop her. She's _gonna_ find a way to do this. I sat down on the couch again, listening to Raf type on his laptop.

This is going to be interesting.

…Ratchet's POV: Ten Minutes Later, Elsewhere in the Silo…

I sat in my berthroom cleaning my frame welder. Why is it that it's always my belongings that are mangled? It's always my tools! I just might take Miko's advice and get some bubble wrap. Suddenly I heard a loud knock on my door. Muttering under my breath I put the cleaning rag and my frame welder down on my berth and opened the door. This had better be good-

"RATCHET! Come to the control room! Quick!" Miko said, urgency heavily lacing her voice. I looked down at the little human just in time to see her run down the hall towards the main control room. I had never seen her so intent upon getting me to do anything. After hesitating for a moment, I followed her down the hall.

Hopefully, it wasn't a prank. I let Miko use one of my wrenches as a skateboard ramp a few days ago. Those cat ears she and Bumblebee put on me were next to impossible to remove from the CPU connections. I grimaced slightly, trying to shake off the thought. I'd rather not have to go through that again.

"What is it that I'm needed for?" I asked as I stepped into the bright light of the main control room. I looked around to see Optimus and the rest of the children looking at me.

"Miko appears to have something important to say to us." Optimus observed, shifting slightly on his pedes. I arched an optic ridge. Whatever she has to say, it had better be pretty slagging good.

"Would you, Optimus Prime, have an epic rap battle with Ratchet?" The little human's eyes glittered as she looked back and forth between our leader and myself. I exchanged a glance with Optmus and looked back down at Miko, who was bouncing on her feet in excitement.

"Why would I do that?" Optimus questioned curiously.

"And why would _I_ participate in such a ridiculous human activity?" I crossed my arms over my chassis.

"I hope you don't think you might lose," Jack stated, standing from the children's couch and walking down the stairs. He had a faint smirk on his face, as if he was expecting me to lose. I scoffed.

"I never said I would lose."

"So, do you believe you would win against me?" Optimus looked at me, a certain light that I had only seen in Orion Pax shone in our leader's optics. I smiled. Heh, I'll that look as a challenge.

"I _know_ I'll win."

I watched Optimus as he cracked a miniscule, devious smile. Miko jumped up and down in happiness.

"Alright! We'll get started in a few moments." I smirked. That will grant me enough time to think of how to win this battle.

…Bumblebee's POV…

The four of us were just pulling into the silo after a rather long and boring patrol. I managed to reach the border of California, somehow. I think I went to sleep on the highway. I think I'm just going to go into my berthroom and take a nice long nap- What in the world?

I transformed back to bi-pedal mode and stared at the scene in front of me. There was a loud, but not too loud, beat going and Optimus was facing Ratchet. The children were cheering near their pedes.

"…What am I looking at?" Arcee muttered in disbelief from next to me. Bulkhead and Smokescreen stared, completely speechless.

"Are they seriously having a rap battle?" Smokescreen whispered, having a bit of trouble believing what he was seeing, like the rest of us. Ratchet was going at it right now, smiling, holding his heavy throwing wrench in his servo threateningly. Optimus was standing still with his battle mask covering his face as Ratch verbally attacked him.

"The prophecy. Forgot to mention this day,

When I knocked your ass back to Orion Pax,

Check your status, they call me Doctor, you're nothing!

Nice guns. You compensating for something?"

We all looked back at Optimus, waiting for his response. They had to have noticed us standing here, but they seem pretty intent upon winning this battle. He raised his servo like he was going to backhand Ratchet as he took advantage of his baritone voice.

"I would smack you, but in Iacon, we don't hit little femmes.

My name is Optimus, mother fucker.

_Maybe_ you've heard of me.

I'm committing verbal murder in the major third degree

You wanna trade blows? HA! You can't even hit a heat cycle."

The kids were whistling and cheering as Boss Bot gained a triumphant look in his optics. Miko jumped between them, yelling in a dramatic tone.

"Who won? Who's next? You decide! Epic Rap Battles of CYBERTROOON!"

"Wow, Boss Bot. Just… wow." Bulkhead muttered. Someone had turned off the beat that was going for the rap battle.

"So, who do you think won?" Ratchet smirked. Arcee spoke up before we could even vote, arching an optic ridge and putting a servo on her hip.

"What made you two do this?"

Miko shrugged as Jack and Rafael pointed at the Japanese girl. I shook my head, venting. Of course it was Miko. She is known for doing some crazy things, but she's good at persuading people do stuff. That prank I did on Ratchet with Miko supports that. I'll never regret it, though.

"I don't know about you guys, but Optimus totally won that." Smokescreen said. We all looked at him for a second and started casting our own votes. The room was divided equally. Jack, Raf and Arcee were on Ratchet's side, while Smokescreen, Bulkhead and I were on Optimus's side. Miko didn't vote, I guess because she's kinda the referee. No one could really decide who won that battle.

"Hey, you guys!" Everyone looked at Miko, who was smiling from ear to ear.

"The vote was invalid! The rest of the bots came half way through the battle! And you know what that means…"

Optimus looked at Ratchet and gave a very small, sly smile. Ive never seen that look from him, but I'd know it anywhere. Optimus was _not_ going to back down anytime soon. And neither was Optimus. They both seemed to really like that little rap battle. To be quite honest, I have never heard Optimus swear before. It sounded almost natural to him, it's kinda weird. Ratchet had his usual angry demeanor, but his voice sounded rougher and slightly more intimidating. All of us stood there, anticipating their responses. We kinda had an idea what they wanted to do, but can never be too sure.

Ratchet gave him a confident grin. "One more round, Optimus?" Boss Bot's optics shone brighter.

"One more round."

**So how was that? I just love the Epic Rap Battles of History and always thought it would be cool if the Transformers had their own. Ratchet's lyrics are based on Dumbledore's in the Gandalf vs. Dumbledore rap battle and Optimus's are based on Beethoven's lyrics in the Justin Bieber vs. Ludwig Van Beethoven. **

**Raf showed Jack the Abe Lincoln vs. Chuck Norris rap battle, in case you were wondering why he was talking about Abraham Lincoln.  
**

**I'm considering continuing this... Should I? **

**Anyway, WHO WON? YOU DECIDE!**

**EEEPIC RAP BATTLES OF CYBERTRON!**


	2. The Prime vs The Medic Part Two

**Alright! I'm so happy to see that so many people liked this! I've done the math and calculated who won the last round. Optimus won with 67% of the votes given in the reviews and Ratchet lost with 33%. This is the second round of rap battles for Optimus and the Hatchet. This starts off in Ratchet's POV.**

**Again, due to the nature of the Epic Rap Battles of History, this story is rated T for a reason.**

**Let's see who will win this one!**

I must admit, Optimus won the last round. I didn't realize it until it was too late that I was in a bit over my head. But now, I'm more prepared for this battle. I gave our leader a sly smile as the other bots chatted amongst themselves.

"I never thought I'd see the day that Optimus would even consider doing something like this." Arcee muttered, shaking her head and a servo resting on her cocked hip. Bulkhead laughed and placed a servo on her shoulder

"Me neither, but you gotta admit, it was pretty cool!" Bumblebee buzzed in agreement, nodding his head vigorously. He could barely stop giggling about the entire concept of Optimus and I having a rap battle.

"Sorry Ratchet, but you got smoked," Smokescreen said. I glared halfheartedly at the younger bot.

Miko waved her arms to get our attention. "Alright, since you guys came in late, I'll explain the rules. Each bot involved gets two opportunities to go at the other. Everything is fair game in the rap battle and the audience chooses who wins. Everybody got that?"

Everyone did or said something that confirmed that they understood to rules. I couldn't help but smile slightly. 'Everything is fair game'…

"Alright, let's get this started! Raf, start the beat!" Said human nodded and went over to his laptop that was plugged into Miko's speakers. The rhythm he chose differed slightly from the one he selected earlier. It was a bit slower with a deeper bass, though not by much. The other bots moved further away, created a small sort of arena for Optimus and I as Miko stood between us. I made optic contact with with our leader as Miko prepared to start the rap battle. This time, I'm better prepared. I tightened my grip on the wrench in my servo as Optimus calmly covered his face with his battle mask. We will see who wins this round.

"Epic Rap Battles of Cybertron! Optimus Prime! Versus. Doctor Ratcheeet! Begin!" Miko ran off to the side as I started first.

"Ooh, actually, if you don't mind, it's just 'The Doctor'.  
Doesn't even really matter who. Who am I even talking to? Oh yes, you!

The children were cheering along with the other bots as I prepared to continue on my first turn. Optimus's expression never changed as I gestured towards Arcee and the others standing off to the side.

"Despite your companions, you still need a hard frag.  
Prepare. To meet. Your. Destiny!"

My turn finished, I tossed the wrench in my servo up in the air and caught it several times, allowing myself to soak in the cheering of the humans and my companions. Halfway through my verbal attack, Optimus shut his optics and seemed to meditate where he stood. Soon, the cheering and hooting died down and we all looked at our leader, waiting for him to start.

Suddenly, he opened his optics.

"This isn't medic school, punk.  
I'd suggest dropping out.  
For I invented rap music when my spark started beating.  
Optimus Prime doesn't battle.  
He just allows you to lose.  
My rhythms will blow your mind like a verbal fusion cannon."

Miko was whispering about how great Optimus's verbal attacks were as I stayed quiet. I glanced around at the other bots. Arcee had her arms crossed over her chassis as she shook her helm. Bulkhead clapped Smokescreen and Bumblebee on their shoulders as they laughed together. I looked back at Optimus, silently allowing him to take his second turn consecutively. He swiftly took his turn, stamping a pede firmly on the floor and clenched a servo into a tight fist.

"I am Optimus fucking Prime!  
I split the High Council with a roundhouse kick, bitch!  
My fists make the speed of light wish that it was faster!  
I never told a lie and I won't start now.  
I will put you _down_!"

The hooting and the cheering started back up again, louder than before. Optimus rocked back slightly on his pedes, his electromagnetic field pulsing with a sort of confidence I had not felt from him in a very long time. I retracted my own EM field, making the other bots look at me in curiosity. Bots normally retracted their EM field to show that they have surrendered in a traditional battle.

I, however, have other plans.

I put as much power as I possibly could into my EM field and sent out a strong, even pulse. I lowered my helm and looked into Optimus's optics, my EM field adding to the intensity of stare.

"There are ten million, million, million, million, million, million, million, million, million, million particles in the universe that we can observe.  
Your mama took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd!  
I've been stretching out the rhyme, like Ground Bridges stretches time  
Since you tried to put your little scraplet brain against this kind of mind.  
I'm the best. _That's_ how I roll."

My turn over, Miko ran in between us and said, "Who won? YOU decide! Eeeepic Rap. Battles of Cybertron!

Smokescreen was bouncing on his pedes, just as excited as Bumblebee. There optics sparkled as Arcee cocked her hips to the side. I believe I have a better chance at winning, now that I was better prepared for the battle. But, that decision is up to my human and Cybertronian companions.

"Now that was pretty awesome!" Jack said, Rafael agreeing with the older human. There was, yet again, a draw. Each of us had an even number of people. Optimus stepped forward, battle mask disengaged and servo outstretched. I smiled slightly and took his servo.

"I guess we both are evenly matched."

Optimus nodded once. "Indeed,"

"_Are we gonna do this again, or is this a one-time thing?_" Bumblebee buzzed, most likely hoping for another round.

"Would you like these battles to continue?" Optimus asked, getting a rather loud 'yes!' from the young scout and the others.

"Very well. However, I believe both Ratchet and I agree that someone else can take the next turn. Who they will be is a decision that is up to you all."

I crossed my arms and smiled slightly to myself as Bumblebee and Smokescreen bickered about who would go next. Arcee walked up to me and I looked down to see her smiling at me.

"Never knew you were so good at rap."

"I'm good at things beyond the medical field." Something struck me and I stared at the blue femme for a moment longer before looking back at Optimus. He was distracted with the humans, Miko badgering him with questions about his verbal attacks. Still staring at Optimus, I raised my arm and hurled the wrench in my servo as hard as I could.

Optimus's POV

Miko was asking me why I chose to use human curses instead of Cybertronian ones in the battle when I felt a sudden burst of pain on the side of my helm. I was robbed of my balance completely and was knocked to the floor. I brought a servo up to my throbbing helm as I vaguely noticed to room grow silent. Suddenly realizing exactly who it was, I looked up at Ratchet, who was smirking at me and tossing the wrench he hit me with in the air repeatedly. Somehow, the wrench had bounced back to Ratchet after it connected with my helm.

Bulkhead couldn't stop snorting while Arcee allowed a small laugh. Bumblebee and the children had a shocked look on their faces as they stared at me. Smokescreen opted to laugh hysterically.

"What, may I ask, was _that_ for?" I gave my friend a wide eyed look, still on the floor. Ratchet had to have a reason for throwing his wrench at me. He generally does not hit people that hard for no reason. He merely smirked again and flipped the wrench up in the air again.

"That-" There was a loud clang as the wrench landed in the palm of Ratchet's servo. "-was for calling me a femme."

**I'm apparently a ghost now because one of my reviewers, The Unknown, hugged me to death. But thankfully, I can still use a computer. It's pretty cool being a ghost.**

**I'm giving everyone who reviewed the last chapter a big bear hug! X) **

**Ratchet's lyrics for his first turn are based on both Doctor Who's and Doc Brown's from the Doc Brown vs. Doctor Who rap battle. His lyrics for his second turn are based on Stephen Hawkin's from the Albert Einstein vs. Stephen Hawkins rap battle. Optimus's lyrics for both of his turned are derived from Chuck Norris's and Abe Lincoln's from the Abraham Lincoln vs. Chuck Norris rap battle. **

******So, who do you think won that round? I personally think Ratchet won, but that's just me. **

**Alright, I plan on doing another battle. But I'm stuck on who will do it. I'll do the one I get the most votes on. Let's just stick with the Autobots… for now. ;)**


	3. The Prime vs The Warlord

**Hiya! The Epic Rap Battles of Cybertron are back, baby! :D I got the math done and Ratchet won the last round with 85% of the votes. Optimus lost with only 15% of the votes. Go Ratch!  
**

**Now... the next rap battle has been determined... *drum roll* The next combatants will be... Optimus Prime and Megatron! This is gonna be **_**delicious**_**! **

**I don't own ERBH or TFP, but I do own this story. This chapter is told from all Ratchet's POV.  
**

**Due to the nature of the lyrics in the Epic Rap Battles of History, this fic is rated T for a REALLY good reason.**

**Let the battle begin!**

I crossed my arms and shook my helm as the others continued to bicker over which of them would go next. The others truly did enjoy our little rap battle. I was honestly surprised to hear Optimus use human curses, let alone any at all. But, at least now I know not to try and predict his actions.

"That was AWESOME! We are _so_ doing that again!" Miko exclaimed excitedly. Bumblebee nodded vigorously, optics shining bright.

Alright, I say we take a vote on who goes next." Bulkhead suggested. I nodded. That seems to be the fairest way to go. Miko hopped up and ran towards the center of the room.  
"Okay, show of hands for..." The little human listed off the name of each bot in the room, with the exception of Optimus and me. The vote was short; the next combatants were determined. But, before Miko could officially announce who the bots would be, the unmistakable blare of the proximity sensor went off. I turned and briskly walked over to the monitor to access the waiting notification on the screen. The atmosphere in the room swiftly changed from playful to serious. Optimus stepped towards the green tinted monitor, standing close behind me.

There appeared to be a spike in Decepticon activity. Though this was certainly not the largest increase in activity we have seen, but particular one was alarmingly close to an area that is frequented by a very large number of humans, called Yellowstone National Park.

"We need to get our team out there now." Urgency laced Arcee's serious tone. Optimus nodded once and turned to me. Already knowing what he wanted, I moved towards the Ground Bridge controls and set the desired coordinates.

"Ratchet, activate the Ground Bridge." I pulled down the handle and stood off to the side to see my comrades off. Everybot transformed and took their position before the Bridge, Bulkhead in the front and Optimus tailing the group.

"Time to kick some Decepticon tailpipe!" Smokescreen exclaimed, clearly excited to go out into the field. I rolled my optics at his eagerness.

Optimus's engines rumbled. "Autobots, roll out!" With that, the team shot through the tunnel, the transportation vortex flashing once as each bot drove through. Once everyone was Bridged out, I shut down its systems from the control panel, turning the vortex off.

I turned to look at the three humans who were standing next to one another. Rafael shyly adjusted his glasses. Jack shrugged.

"So... what's on the activity list?" Suddenly, Miko's guitar sounded, causing my audio receptors to ring. The girl had run over to her speakers and plugged up her obnoxiously loud instrument.

"Band practice!"

I sighed. I had better cut ninety percent of all input of sound to my audio receptors and start cleaning my tools. I learned the hard way that I'll blow a fuse listening to that nonsense.

...Thirty Minutes Later...

"_Bumblebee to Ratchet, come in!"_

Surprised at the tone of the youngling's voice, I answered. "Ratchet here, what is it?"

The children had looked up as well. Miko stopped her practice on the guitar. I could see a worried look forming on Rafael's face out of the corner of my optic as Bumblebee responded.

"_You've got to get out here now!"_ My optics widened. Now I'm concerned. Bumblebee only spoke like this when something very significant occurred. More than likely, someone was hurt, considering they had gone to face the Decepticons. But, I can't make assumptions; I must confirm the situation.

"What happened? Is someone in need of medical attention?"

"_No time, just... just come out here!"_

"Alright, I'm on my way." I severed the connection and turned to the children. I told Rafael to monitor the Ground Bridge from his laptop and placed Jack in charge for the time being. I made sure to tell Miko to remain at the base, much to her frustration. I am aware of the fact that she has not followed one of us through to Bridge in quite some time, but I am not completely sure she won't do it again.

I raced the open Ground Bridge in vehicular mode, anxious to know what made Bumblebee speak in such an urgent tone. In a matter of nanokliks, I was driving through snow on the side of a high mountain. I gunned my engines and pushed forwards, only to get stuck in the snow. Grumbling irritably, I transformed to bipedal mode and shook the annoying, frozen precipitation off my armor.

Looking around and only seeing black and dark grey snow covered trees, I opened a panel on my wrist armor and activated my emergency tracking system. This will allow me to use the bots' spark signals to find them in situations such as this.

I began my trek through the snow, following Optimus's signal. All of the others' signals were with his, so they had not gotten separated. Narrowing my optics from the freezing wind, I stared hard at their vital signs. All of them were in perfect condition, just the way they had left the base. What was the point of calling me out here if no one was hurt?

Suddenly I heard a crunching noise a few dozen yards north of my position. I stopped and glared, activating my surgical blade. That could not have possibly been an animal. The sound was made by something much heavier. I cautiously moved towards the sound, blade up and ready to attack a potential danger. Then the source of the noise stepped out into the light. I sighed in relief, lowering my blade.

Bumblebee.

His bright yellow paintjob was such a contrast to the dull colors of the surrounding area that I'm surprised I missed him. The scout rushed towards me, optics glittering. He grabbed my arm and tried to pull me somewhere, wherever he wanted to go.

"Hold it, Bumblebee! Where are you going?" He let go and turned around, speaking in an excited rush. I gave him a very confused look. All I heard was 'Optimus', 'Megatron' and 'battle'. Bumblebee Neocybex sometimes only makes sense to Bumblebee.

"Slow down! I can't understand you when you're talking that fast!" I was beginning to grow irritated, placing my servos on my hips and tapping my pede in the slow. Bumblebee stopped, took a few deep ventilations and spoke again. This time, I could clearly understand the yellow youngling, though he could still just barely contain himself.

"_We met the Cons out on the side of this mountain and found out they were searching for energon. Megatron started a battle, but he started an avalanche and knocked everybody over. It even blew some Vehicons off the mountain! Megatron didn't want to give up the energon and there was a five minute standoff. Then Smokescreen suggested they settle it with a rap battle! Megatron actually agreed and they're starting __**right now**__ so we have to __**go**__!"_ Bumblebee was getting overly excited once again, much to my irritation. I looked at the youngling, whose doorwings were bouncing with his ecstatic mood, and sighed.

"Take me to the rest of the bots."

...

"You can't be serious." I said, incredulous. The look in my old friend's optics told me that he was indeed, very serious about this. The Decepticons were a four dozen yards away, appearing to be considering something, though I can only imagine what. I spotted Soundwave and Starscream, as well as the Decepticon warlord. I still can't believe that Megatron actually agreed to this match.

"The only other option is a physical battle, which is much too dangerous for us Autobots, as well as the Decepticons. Megatron already lost half his Vehicons in an avalanche he started himself." Optimus reasoned.

"Plus, if he wins this thing, we get a load of energon." Bulkhead added.

"Prime!" We all turned around to see Megatron standing in the snow close to the center of the clearing we were currently situated in.

"Megatron." Optimus walked towards the Decepticon warlord slowly, digits twitching ever so slightly. His weapons system is ready to activate at any given moment. Megatron's arm-mounted cannon gave off a hard blue-white glow as he smirked at our leader. Everyone had their own weapons drawn and aimed at Megatron, with the exception of myself.

"Prepare for defeat." Megatron sneered, baring his shark-like denta in a miniscule grin. Smokescreen spoke up, loud enough for everyone in the clearing to hear him clearly.

"Here are the rules. Each bot involved gets two shots at each other and everything is fair game. Got it?"

There was no respond from the warlord, but I highly doubt he planned on following the rules to begin with. Smokescreen cautiously walked towards the two powerful bots as a low beat started to pound through the still air. I search for the source of the sound, only to see Soundwave, with visible wavelengths on his black visor. I shook my helm. Of course Soundwave was in charge of the music. All of Megatron's Vehicons had lined up in an orderly fashion behind their leader while Starscream stood off to the side, appearing to be very angry and cold.

Our newest recruit held a servo up in the air, standing between our leader and theirs. "Epic Rap Battles of Cybertron! Optimus Prime! Versus. Megatrooon! Begin!" The young mech quickly backed off and headed back towards the rest of us. Megatron quickly seized the opportunity to go first.

"Decepticons!  
Let's start this!  
Let's show this pathetic mech who is the hardest!"

With every statement he made, his mechs grunted in unison, emphasizing the warlord's words. Optimus stood silently, back to us, battle mask undoubtedly engaged. I can only wonder what he plans on doing here. He surprised me in our two matches. It would be wrong to say he won't surprise the rest of us again. I looked back at the grey gladiator, who was clearly enjoying himself in his verbal attacks as he continued his first turn.

"The biggest mistake that you've ever made  
I'll toss you like a frag grenade!  
I'll blast you in the face with my cannon enraged,  
And tonight I'll send you to the grave!"

While Megatron was shooting Optimus down, the Vehicons appeared to be sparing one another, giving off the feel of a gladiatorial pit. Of course, this was only for show.

Suddenly, Megatron took a firm step forward, causing all of us Autobots to tense up. After a moment, I realized the advance was only meant for intimidation, not in preparation to harm our leader.

"You're hopeless now, _Prime_.  
I. Still. FUNCTION!"

Faster than I thought possible for a mech his size, Megatron planted a pede on Optimus's chestplates and shoved him backwards hard. I heard Bumblebee gasp. Bulkhead moved to rush towards Optimus but Arcee blocked his way and pointed towards our leader. He had lost his balance slightly, but regained it gracefully. I smiled from my place next to Smokescreen. Now, it was Optimus's turn.

Our leader slowly stood to his full height, already vocalizing his rhymes in a calm, collected, yet deadly tone.

"Not. So. Fast.  
You're only from Kaon, so why don't you stick these lyrics up your ass?  
Just a laborer they need you to be.  
Ain't no way that you can beat me.  
You will not enjoy this.  
But it will be over quickly."

The deadly serious tone in his voice seems to have caught even Megatron by surprise. He quickly shook it off and started with his next turn. There was a lot of cheering and howling at this point from both sides, but it quieted down some when Megatron started again.

"HA! I've had better 'battles' with my second-in-command.  
I'll win!  
I'd see your defeat, but you're too much of a bitch to show your face!"

I looked over at Optimus and smiled slightly. Optimus wasted no time taking his next turn. He raised a servo and pointed a digit in the general direction of Megatron and his mechs behind him. Our leader's electromagnetic field suddenly flared powerfully, getting a surprised reaction from every bot in the clearing- even Megatron, albeit a small reaction.

"All your asses need a kickin'.  
Get more tea bags than Lipton!"

At that last statement, Optimus blatantly put a servo right on his crotchplate and bounced slightly on his pedes. Bumblebee gained a confused look on his face when I laughed out loud. I never thought I'd live to see the day when Optimus said anything remotely like that to anybody! That is more like something Ironhide will say.

Arcee was caught completely off guard by Optimus's attack and Bulkhead couldn't stop snickering. Smokescreen just stood there, looking like a deer in headlights next to me. I crossed my arms and shook my head as Optimus continued. Megatron looked like he was going to blow a couple fuses.

"So why don't you quit your bitchin'-" Suddenly, Optimus was cut off by the sound of thunder rumbling above our helms. Everyone in the clearing looked up to see dark clouds gathering at a frighteningly fast pace above us. Lightning flashed above us so frequently to the point where I wondered if someone would be struck.

Then I spotted something- no, _someone_ coming down from the clouds! My eyes widened as I saw who it was.

"What in the Pit?!" Starscream swore loudly, forgetting about the cold and staring up. I looked over at Arcee, who had the most shocked look on her faceplates. Even Optimus couldn't believe what he was seeing... This is not possible! This simply impossible!

Cliffjumper was coming down from the sky!

The deceased red mech still floating his way down to the ground, he shouted in a rather frustrated tone,

"By the power granted to me by the Well of AllSparks,  
The winner here will not be the shiniest of two slags!"

Cliffjumper landed hard on the ground between Optimus and Megatron, shaking the ground around us. Both were too shocked to move as Cliffjumper spin around and jabbed a finger at Optimus.

"You! You know I like you! But don't talk about change, just do it!  
I fought for what was in my spark till Starscream's claws WENT THROUGH IT!"

Optimus was, without a single doubt, taken aback by Cliffjumper's words. There seemed to be quite a bit of frustration in the ghost's tone, and Optimus wasn't the only one who the red ghost had a word to say to. He spun around and floated up in the air to be at optic level with Megatron. I watched in sheer amazement as Cliffjumper attacked the warlord as well, getting in the grey mech's faceplates.

"And you! Mega-fail!  
You're pathetic! You can't find three kids!  
These are Autobots, not Vehicons!  
You couldn't kill them if you TRIED!"

Suddenly the red ghost pointed back at Optimus, now at optic level with him.

"I'll properly reach across the factions-"

The ghost turned to point at Megatron, who had a shocked look plastered on his face plates, with his other servo.

"-and bitch smack you as equals!  
Of Cybertron!"

And to my complete and utter surprise, Cliffjumper struck Optimus in the faceplates! How he managed to do that and not be alive is a complete mystery to me. Our leader understood this no better than I did, seeing how he just took the blow. The red ghost then whirled around to face Megatron.

"For Cybertron!"

Megatron took the blow to the face as his mech gasped behind them. Starscream couldn't stop laughing as his leader stood there, still too shocked to move.

"By Primus!  
ALLSPARK!"

In that instant, Cliffjumper flew back up to the skies and the clouds dissipated with a few more flashes of lightning. Everyone just stared up at the now blue sky. Everyone except for Starscream, who continued to laugh hysterically at the Decepticon warlord's encounter. Finally realizing he was being laughed at, Megatron recomposed himself, turned on his heel and headed towards Starscream, a dark look on his face. The grey Seeker calmed down enough to notice the impending danger and transformed into his jet mode, intent upon fleeing as fast as his thrusters allowed him to. The Seeker flew off in less than a nanoklik. Megatron looked over his shoulder, piercing red optics staring at Optimus.

"You can have the energon. I have a fly to swat down." With that he transformed and flew off towards his cowardly second-in-command. His other mechs transformed soon after and was lead by Soundwave in another direction. Optimus turned and walked steadily back towards us. He disengaged his battle mask and looked all of us in the optics. I was the only one who noticed the very faint, sheepish glint in his optics.

"I did not see that coming."

**Man, wait till Miko hears about this! She gonna love it! X)**

**Optimus's lyrics were based on Master Chief's from the Master Chief vs. Leonidas rap battle. Megatron's were based on Leonidas's lyrics from the Chief vs. Leonidas rap battle. Cliffjumper's were based on Abraham Lincoln's from the Mitt Romney vs. Barack Obama rap battle. I think Cliffy won, but that's just my opinion.  
**

**I've decided who will go next... But that shall remain secret. For now, anyway. ;)**

**WHO WON? YOU DECIDE! EPIC RAP BATTLES OF CYBERTRON!**


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